Albuera, Part Two - Carnage & Glory II

We were fortunate enough to be allowed to have a second try at fighting the battle of Albuera in18mm (fence sitter scale) to "Carnage & Glory" run by David Hedges. In the first battle the British and Portuguese managed to fight off the French attack despite a few surprises along the way.

Devon Wargames Group - Positively no Badgers at Albuera

For the next refight we all agreed to randomise the commands assigned, so we all had different problems to solve. Some changes in personnel playing the game made the outcome of the random assignments quite surprising as three of us previously allied commanders (there being four players a side) ended up as French commanders. I am sure this gave us an advantage. Plans were made. When dawn broke over a crowded battlefield, I was put in command of the cavalry division and it is from this perspective that I have made my report. My apologies to those battling on the other flank as I have less to report on in that area.

As General de Division Andre Francois Moineau woke covered in a cold sweat, he recalled the massed French troops marching into the withering volleys of the British troops holed up in the seemingly impregnable fortress that was the village of El Tejon and his cavalry command rendered ineffective by the cramped terrain and the sudden collapse of the whole French army. Relieved to discover that the nightmare was simply a fever dream, probably brought on by some bad mussels, he hurried to the pre-battle briefing determined to avoid the mistakes made in his imagination.

Marshal Soult had sent orders for General Renard to take the main east west road that passed through the village of Tejon. The village was protected by a river to its front and a walled orchard on its right flank. Sited on some low hills it was an excellent defensive position, and the British commander was bound to take advantage of this. There were two narrow bridges over the river, suitable for artillery or cavalry crossing but otherwise only the infantry could ford the river. 

Forward planning had allowed General Renard to push up to two divisions across the river on his right flank to avoid having to cross the river. The decisions here would be vital to avoid mistakes made in Moineau’s dreams (likely all new mistakes could be made instead). The battle planning meeting was quite lively as each brigade and division commander put forward their demands for the place of honour, and reasons why they should probably not just charge towards the enemy guns.

In the end General Belette’s brigade of six regiments was placed on our left flank opposite the walled orchard. Furet with slightly better troops was our centre. Blaireau with all three combined grenadier battalions and three line regiments was pushed across the river on the right flank. My division of dragoons, hussars and horse artillery led the right flank across the river. The divisional artillery remained in the centre with Furet.

The British placed their best troops in and around the walled orchard and only lightly defended the village on their left flank. They kept a large mobile defence in their centre where their artillery had an excellent view of the slopes in front of them.

The attack started with a general advance of all units. The cavalry was split into two brigades. The Hussars and the horse artillery on our extreme right flank and the Dragoons towards the centre on the other flank of the grenadiers.

Surprisingly the initial French advance made rapid progress without great opposition. The British fired their artillery at long range, to little effect and sent out a swarm of skirmishers to contest the ground between the river and their initial positions. The French set up with an expectation that the river crossing would be contested and so the divisional artillery was unlimbered and fired a few rounds. The British and Portuguese made some small adjustments in their reserves.

Then the rain came. Visibility became very poor, and it was a chance for the Imperial forces to advance without being destroyed by defensive firing.

On the left flank Belette was holding up very well against the British elite forces. Skirmishers were protecting the line units, and the greater numbers of the French brigade were sufficient to maintain cohesion despite some losses. The elite British forces started pushing forwards to contend with Belette’s forces and there was some concern that the Portuguese cavalry could make an appearance. Belette had pushed forward over the river and was now under a lot of pressure. Allied horse artillery was sending round shot into his right flank and some French units were starting to falter. Despite this, Belette was holding the cream of the allied army and stopping them from reinforcing the centre.

In the centre Furet became involved in a furious firefight. He pushed forward with great resolution. His skirmishers battled with the swarm of Portuguese skirmishers sent out from the village and from allied units supporting the British artillery in the centre. The French divisional artillery moved over the river, unlimbered and was shooting at any available target switching between round shot and canister as targets appeared. The advancing French line regiments had taken insults from the skirmishers, the artillery and the defenders of the village but were now pouring their own shot into the troops in front of them.

On the far right the horse artillery had unlimbered as close to the allied troops as they dared. Supported by two troops of hussars they braved the skirmish fire and pushed their guns forwards up a small slope. Anticipating the next order the Portuguese troops formed square to defend themselves from the  inevitable cavalry charge. Pushing their guns out of a declivity the horse artillery were rewarded with the gift of two battalions of Portuguese line infantry in square formation (skirmishers called back in) and in canister range. The first case of cannister staggered the first square and the French Hussars prepared to charge the remains. Without fuss (and without skirmishers) the grenadiers advanced in attack columns upon the village of Tejon.

The Allied commander responded by moving another brigade of Portuguese into the village. The elite cacadores having the speed to secure the edge of the village before the Grenadiers could just march in unopposed, the cacadores proceeded to pour shots into the grenadiers. Two troops of Portuguese cavalry followed on their heels ready to charge any troops in the open.

The focus of the battle was now firmly in the centre. Skirmishers from both sides had been driven in, and the artillery were shooting at close range. The French trying to blast an opening into the village and the allies concentrated on trying to bounce round shot through as many French battalions as possible. The Portuguese in the village were gradually losing cohesion. Exhausted by their constant firing and the buildup of casualties. 

Much to everyone’s surprise (other than the enterprising officer in command) a French line battalion (3/64e Ligne Reg) charged. They caught the British artillery who were still busily pouring round shot into the flanks of the French battalions. The British artillery were caught out of position and never had a chance to evade. Six guns were captured and it seemed that the simple frontal assault that everyone had feared would win the day.

Then the Portuguese cavalry arrived (1st Portuguese Dragoons). They had pushed through some rough ground and found themselves on the flank of the celebrating French battalion. This was the moment that all cavalry dream of. In the flank of a line of an enemy Infantry battalion on a gentle slope, with fresh horses and an enthusiastic body of troopers, led by their general. The command to charge went up. The Bugles rang out and the Portuguese broke into a fabulous slow trot. 

The commanding colonel maintained that proper formation was better preserved with a slow advance. Distant observers were heard to laugh at the so-called charge but when they hit the side of the advanced French battalion they utterly routed them captured their colours without losing a single sabre (much debate erupted about quite what their colours constituted at this point in the war, but they were definitely captured whatever they were). Their charge continued to follow the broken unit and scattered them beyond recovery. The wild shooting of nearby regiments had almost no effect on the victorious cavalry, and they advanced again filled with Elan, at their now terrifying slow trot.

Furet’s whole Brigade was shaken, and it began to look as if they battle would be lost before the Grenadiers could make their blow count. The tremendous work of the nearby officers managed to steady the brigade, some having fallen from their saddles were remounted, and rallied their troops. The French Dragoons that had been held in reserve on the right flank were moved left to either hold the line or to cover a retreat.

Back on the left flank the long-range shooting and skirmishing was degrading the British forces and even some of the elite regiments were starting to have reasons to avoid advancing. With orders to defend, they were not keen to charge in and drive off the plucky French battalions, some of whom were also starting to have their doubts about continuing the battle. Good work by the officers kept morale high enough for both sides to continue the firefight.

Back in the centre all eyes were on the victorious Portuguese cavalry spoilt for choice of targets. The colonel pointed at the artillery in the centre of the French line and despite distant cries of “that’s very brave of you”, and “charge and be damned” or “we might still win if you pull that one off”. They slowly trotted forward with grim discipline shrugging off the desultory shooting from the surrounding line troops and bore down on the tremulous gunners who kept repeating “We are loaded with canister aren’t we?”.

The crowded street fight in El Tejon required the buildings to be removed as the battle reached its crescendo.

On the right the Grenadiers were finally called upon to earn their elite status having marched up to the enemy in the village, both sides serenaded each other with volleys at short range and then the Grenadiers charged. The Portuguese outnumbered and outmatched in skill at arms gave up the protection of their houses and withdrew further into the town. The Grenadiers were now tired but exultant and readied themselves for the next challenge.

On the far right flank the horse artillery were exhausting themselves pouring canister shot into the Portuguese squares. One square gave up the challenge and retired behind their reserves, the other was starting to waver as whole files of troops were flicked away by the lethal metal sweeping across their formation. The French Hussars received orders that they were to charge after the next shot.

It seemed that that the battle was about to be decided. The left flank was a stalemate but events in the centre and the right flank would undoubtedly decide the winner.

The 1st Portuguese Dragoons finally launched themselves at the artillery. Who were definitely loaded with canister The cannons roared the Dragoons cheered and the referee (computer) was consulted. The charge of the cavalry ended in bloody ruin. Their officer had his horse shot from under him and the remains of the unit retired to a safe distance to consider how foolish it was to charge artillery.

In the village the Grenadiers were called upon to charge again, this time accompanied by the fresh line battalions who were called upon for the first time. One grenadier battalion decided that they were not yet ready to charge again, but the others (led in person by General Blaireau) were inspired to throw themselves upon the enemy regardless of their losses. The Portuguese infantry in front of them broke almost at once. 

The French battalions charged and broke multiple units and then charged into the rear of the retreating units multiple times and the entire garrison of the village began to fall back. The crowded streets forced the fleeing troops through their own formations so many times that they ceased to exist as a fighting formation. At this point the allied commander sent up the command for a general retreat as the entirety of their left flank had collapsed and there was an entire brigade of French cavalry that had yet to engage.

A major victory was declared for the French.

Despite never managing to carry out a cavalry charge I still had a great time discussing all the different options and threatening to charge was almost as effective as charging for controlling the shape of the battlefield. The lack of dice rolling gives a little disconnect to the action, but it does give a great feel for the fog of war. Only sometimes was the referee giving feedback on the effects, so you had to gauge how much you had asked of your troops previously and then decide whether to ask more, or to let other fresher troops take over. Having fresh reserves on hand, after a fierce battle, was essential for turning encounters into a lasting victory. 

A very enjoyable experience and better for having a referee to control the flow of information and to adjudicate any disputes.

My thanks go to the other players and to David for hosting such excellent fun.

The Leeward Line - Far Distant Ships.

HMS Royal Sovereign bears down on the line of the Combined Fleet at Trafalgar, capturing perfectly the set-up for this scenario, 'The Leeward Line'.

 

Next month, I and other club members and friends will be attending Legionary Exeter, our local wargaming show on Saturday 10th May, to run 'The Battle of Trafalgar' in 1:700 scale using the rules Far Distant Ships (FDS), written by David Manley and adjusted to accommodate the larger scale models.

FDS were written by David to focus specifically on large fleet action games as opposed to smaller single ship/squadron actions where he has that covered by his other age of sail set Form Line of Battle.

https://www.wargamevault.com/product/352181/Far-Distant-Ships

The description on Wargames Vault gives the gist of what FDS are about and why I have started using them for my big fleet action style of games;

'A quick playing set of rules covering fleet actions in the age of sail where linear tactics were to the fore. The aim of these rules, which draw upon techniques and concepts from LFG’s “Cannon, Cross and Crescent” combined with a development span covering some 20 years has been to develop a quick play set that focusses on the command and control aspects of the battle, allowing large battles such as Chesapeake Bay, the Saintes and Trafalgar to be played out in an evening’s gaming. 

Signalling is key, and complex plans may fall apart if a vital signal is missed, or an order executed late. The rules cover the main ship types involved across the period, focussing on ships of the line and rated frigates, in articular in their role as signal repeaters. Stats are also included for civilian ships, smaller warships and bomb vessels, and shore batteries and fortifications, allowing the full spectrum of naval operations to be played. 

The rules have been written with 1/2400 models in mind but will work with models in larger scales. This set has been updated to include the Anglo Dutch Wars supplement which allows battles from the 17th century to be played out using these rules.'

The table plan for the set-up of The Leeward Line, with the Royal Sovereign leading the charge of the Leeward Squadron at Trafalgar, attacking in line of echelon, as the gaggle of a line of Combined ships prepares for the maelstrom that is about to hit them.

Conscious that I and other regular age-of-sail friends had been playing FDS at games outside of our club fixtures and aware that some club mates wanted to play next month, I decided to organise a warm-up game at the club to get everyone used to the mechanics of FDS to speed up matters for 'the big one', Trafalgar, with seventy three models on the table, next month, and this little scenario with just twenty-two models seemed a good choice, themed as it is around the larger battle.

The briefings for the respective commanders were straight forward and very much those that Admirals Collingwood and Alava were tasked with on the day;

Vice Admiral Cuthbert Collingwood

British Briefing:

'You are Vice Admiral Cuthbert Collingwood, and it is the 21st October 1805 at 11.45 am as you lead the Lee Column of the British fleet into the attack on the rear of the Franco-Spanish Combined Fleet. Your plan is simple, namely, to pass between the enemy ships with your ships attacking in echelon allowing each to rake the enemy ships either side of them as they pass through and to then turn to larboard and luff up alongside an enemy ship to continue the attack with a close range cannonade on their leeward side and cause them to strike as quickly as possible with no hope of escape.

The British order of battle with the relevant ship statistics for playing the game, together with my inclusion of a PPV score or Points Preservation Value to determine when ships lost through capture or sinking will provoke a break-off test.

Your ships are well motivated and well lead. Each of your captains knows what is expected of him.'

The game is well under way and flowing seamlessly as the players became quickly familiar with the sequence of play and various game mechanics, and here can be seen the Royal Sovereign and Belleisle breaking through the Allied line, having raked the enemy as they passed.

Franco-Spanish Briefing:

You are Vice Admiral Don Maria de Alava, commanding the rear squadron of the Combined Fleet line, formerly the van squadron and now you have some of Admiral Gravina’s ships close into yours including French Rear Admiral Magon in the Algeciras as you have had to change course and rearrange your line as the British, who were formerly sailing on an opposite tack have now turned towards the Allied line in two columns, one of which is headed towards your squadron.

Vice Admiral Don Maria de Alava

You must maintain your heading in the wake of the other squadrons of the fleet and hope to take advantage of the bold approach of the enemy who have presented their bows to your squadron which, with your ships, sailing on a bow wind and moving slowly, should allow a relatively steady deck to fire at the enemy rigging and cause as much damage as possible; which will in turn allow the option to either disengage or use your larger ships crews, which include large numbers of soldiers, to board and take any of the enemy you manage to cripple aloft.

The Combined Fleet Order of Battle - Note the PPV break-off threshold is just 5.5, meaning just three ships striking will provoke the test.

Your main concern is that the gaps between your ships presents an opportunity for the enemy to pass through your line so you must hope that your captains can close up and that the second line of ships will be able to help deal with any British ships that manage to pass through your line.

The ships nearest to camera are the line of small ships supporting the Combined Fleet line, there for completion to tow damaged friends away from danger if signalled to do so, but not to engage British ships of the line.

As this game was designed to get the players used to the movement, combat and running repairs side of the game, I dispensed with covering in detail about the signalling other than quickly covering the basics about how to do it and the the requirements I have added that orders ships captains to enter the high risk combat zone of 'close range', not something they would do routinely unless ordered to 'engage the enemy closely', preferring to stand off at medium range and attempt to batter the enemy into submission that led to many of the inconsequential battles of the American War.

Belleisle (left) carrying a 'worn' damage chit  and Royal Sovereign centre have passed through the Allied line having raked those ships passed and with the latter closing in on Alava's flagship Santa Ana (right of picture). The British ship beyond the Allied line and sailing parallel is the Mars which failed with a '1' to break the line and so turned away to engage the enemy at close range on the windward side.

To the great relief of the two commanders, I stated that in this scenario Nelson and Vileneuve had already signalled their intentions, namely to engage closely and pass through the line by the former and to engage in line ahead by the latter, and so the only signals that might be needed were if Alava wanted his frigate line to tow badly damaged compatriots away from danger if the opportunity presented.

The follow on British ships are about to break the Allied line having passed their tests to make the attempt, with Tonnant to the left, Bellerophon and Colossus. Note the course adjustments as the players attempt to line up for a gap to make their pass-through move.

The first turn was taken very methodically to illustrate the phases of play and by turn three, the play had become intuitive, with minimal reference to the quick reference sheets, always a good sign of a set of rules, and the first combat rolls were happening as the Royal Sovereign and Belleisle both successfully passed their tests to break the Allied line, followed by Mars which surprised everyone with a failed test, rolling a '1' and turning away to engage in a broadside battering to windward at close range.

The French ship nearest camera is the 74-gun Fougeaux , Captain Baudoin, that has just taken a close in stern rake from the passing Royal Sovereign that has left her with medium damage chit on her bow. She would take another close broadside from the British flagship on her larboard quarter in the next turn raising the damage to 'Heavy' followed by a failed 'Strike Test' at the end of the turn and seeing her become the first Allied ship to do so.

The combat of gunnery and indeed boarding when it occurs, consists of opposed die rolls combined with situational factors to come up with a score comparison, with comparative scores of equal, more than, double or more etc, causing more damage with each higher level of difference and hopefully increasing the woes of the target, and with damage indicated by a counter placed on the base of the model ranging from worn, light, medium, heavy and strike.

To increase the level of damage on a ship damaged from previous action usually requires a damage result the same or better than that already inflicted, although worn on a worn will not and a light on a light requires a test to 'escalate' it to medium damage.

The process keeps both parties involved no matter which was the phasing side, and with die scores of '6' to one party and a '1' to the other, indicating a critical damage result to one of them depending on who rolled the natural '1', only adding to the drama of each exchange.

As more opposing ships became hotly engaged as the rolling attack of the British squadron developed more and more of these gunnery-defence roll offs occurred and with both sides on the lookout for that '6' and '1' combination the inevitable happened as Admiral Magon's flagship Algeciras 74-guns was stern raked by Bellerophon.

Three French third-rates Algeciras (left), Pluton (centre-back) and Fougeux (right) with strike markers under their bows tells the tale of the maelstrom of fire that hit this part of the line of the Combined Fleet, with the Admiral Killed marker on Algeciras flying Admiral Magon's flag at her mizzen, and Monarca the Spanish 74-gunner closest to camera and the stern galleries of the British flagship Royal Sovereign (off-right).

The  bones went down the tower and a roar of delight from the British players followed as the Frenchman rolling a '1' to the British '6' caused enough damage to cause an immediate strike and with the following critical hit die scoring a '6' followed by a '5' saw Rear-Admiral Charles-René Magon de Médin, fall to the deck mortally wounded, talk about history recreated in the game!

Rear-Admiral Charles-René Magon de Médin, killed at Trafalgar
and suffering a similar fate in our game.

To be fair to the Allies their commanders were having a bad day at the office as far as their die rolls were concerned that saw a fire break out on the Spanish 74-gun Montanez on the first time she opened fire rolling another '1' to a '6' in response causing the 'Fire' critical hit, that fortunately was extinguished in the next 'Command Phase' where command points can be used by each respective commander to repair damage levels and aid dealing with critical hits.

Even in this aspect of our game the Allied commander was regularly rolling 2's and 3's which with a -1 on Alava's ability rating frequently left insufficient points to make desperately needed repair attempts; the repair phase in each turn being an important function of each commander with points rolled for in each command phase and spent trying to reduce the amount of damage on ships under their respective commands.

HMS Mars has backed sail and lowered one of my new crewed ships boats to take possession of the struck French third-rate Fougeux, allowing my first ships boat to make its debut on table.
https://www.wargaming3d.com/brands/simon-mann

With Allied ships striking along the line the British were keen to secure their prizes which gave me an opportunity to get the first of my ships boats out on the table to indicate the progress of a boarding party being lowered to take possession. Securing prizes in battle is an important task that prevents struck enemy ships that have fallen away from the main action, simply reraising their colours and slipping off the table, thus denying the victor their full victory point total. 

These 3D ships boats with crews pulling on the oars are from Simon Mann and were free to download (link above) and printed for me by clubmate Jason, finally making it to the top of the painting job list, and make a visually pleasing replacement for the counters used previously whilst also providing a nice option for some cutting out and landing scenarios I have in mind.

This scenario is a great way of putting any ruleset to the test by bringing on the dogfight of a melee that Nelson planned for and seeing opposing ships of the line mixing things close and personal like frigates; on this occasion the British were just too good, made worse by such an imbalance in die rolling for the day which no set of rules can offset.

We played five turns, equating to fifty minutes of battle with close range exchanges of fire breaking out along the complete length of the Allied line that had left three French 74's struck, one a flagship with a dead Admiral aboard and a PPV (Preservation Points Value) break off test required by Admiral Alava, as per the Scenario Briefing set out below;

Retreat Test:

Roll a d6 and add the commander of that fleet or squadron Command Rating (CR). The Fleet or Squadron breaks and disengages on 4 or less. 1 is always a failure. Disengaged squadrons must move to exit the table and may not fire unless enemy ships fire at them.

Admiral/Commodore Command Rating (CR)

Collingwood +1

Alava -1

Magon 0

The resulting roll of 4 was reduced to 3 with Alava's -1 CR and so the Allies would attempt to retreat off the table, causing us to refer to the End of Game Effects;

Game End Effects:

Winning side is the last side whose Fleet Morale breaks or the last side with an unbroken squadron on the table.

If neither side has an unbroken squadron at the end of a turn then game is a draw.

Losing side – roll a d6 for any ships that have suffered Heavy Damage. They founder and sink on a 1 or are captured by the enemy if they have any ships of the same rate or larger that are not more than Light Damage.

If the game ends at the players discretion before a clear winner or drawn game has been established, then consult the damage states of the two forces and take a view on the state of play at the close as to which side is most likely to achieve a result.

Trafalgar 2023 played with the Penarth Club in Nelson near Cardiff, illustrating the complete collection in action and this game a small cameo scenario in a much much larger battle we will play next month.

None of the Heavily Damaged Allied ships sank and two were captured by undamaged British opponents, seeing five Allied ships taken in this section of the line out of the ten engaged, a crushing victory for Collingwood's squadron, but more importantly a thoroughly enjoyable game for all involved.

Of course, had we chosen to continue the action, their was still another scenario left in this game, as instead of rolling for and end of game result the Allies attempted to get their surviving ships off the table to potentially escape, illustrating the potential of FDS to replicate the issues facing fleet commanders fighting these big battles in this era. 

Far Distant Ships is an excellent option for a big fleet action or, as in this case a squadron on squadron action, producing an intuitive, pacey, flowing game with lots of player decision points and involvement during the phases of play combined with the narrative and drama you would want to characterise that play, and we had that in buckets that resulted in two new recruits for the Trafalgar game in May at Exeter Legionary and several sets of Far Distant Ships purchased from Wargame Vault. 

Thank you to Mark C, Matt, Ian, John, Jack and Steve L for a fun day at the table and for the drama of our game, and looking forward to our next meeting off Cape Trafalgar.

More anon

JJ

Wacky Races - Gaslands Style!

 

Our second March meeting saw me get the chance to drop the "Wacky Races" vehicles I had acquired into the "Gaslands" setting.

As a reminder, "Wacky Races" was a late 60s cartoon, set round an improbable, but amusing, set of races between a cast of characters from humans to horror/fantasy creatures. The characters, including anthropomorphic individuals, crewed a variety of vehicles ranging from cars to tanks and planes.

Luckily I managed to find six players who were willing to give this homage to a children's cartoon a go. In fact some of them were quite keen.

The characters and vehicles were represented as close to the cartoon equivalents as I could manage within "Gaslands" rules. Each vehicle had a couple of special weapons, upgrades or perks that were selected in an attempt at matching their "flavour" in the cartoon. As it was Gaslands, I gave everyone guns. I doubt Hanna and Barbera would have approved.

Only one player had a strong preference for a character, so Jason played the "Ant Hill Mob" in the Bulletproof Bomb. A random selection for the remaining five players, led to the Convert-a-Car (Colin), Arkansas Chuggabug (Lawrence), Army Surplus Special (Bob), Turbo Terrific (Chas) and Mean Machine (Paul), lining up on the grid.

The standard warnings that, "If you touch a template, you are using it and if it isn't legal, the player to your left picks a legal template for you instead" and "no shooting before passing the first race gate. If you do, two machine gun turrets on the gate fire on you" were issued. As usual, virtually no one was listening.

With the Pole Position token going to Lawrence, it was a case of "and they are off." That didn't go so well, with a collision in the first Gear Phase, with Lawrence's Arkansas Chuggabug. A further crash at the back of the grid, left Chas's Turbo Terrific actually behind the starting grid. In the straight approaching the first Gate there were two more collisions, including Lawrence ramming the tank! The Convert-a-Car was left facing backwards and the Turbo Terrific was still not over the Start Line. All was fine and dandy for the Bulletproof Bomb though, as Jason cleared the Gate, leaving the others in his wake.

The Mean Machine crossed the first Gate and promptly used his "Oil Dropper" to ruin everyone else's day. This resulted in the Arkansas Chuggabug and the Convert-a-Car wiping out, whilst the Turbo Terrific arrived just in time to be shot up, get wiped out and then wrecked. Good to see a professional racing driver in action.

Taking the first corner proved tricky, with the Arkansas Chuggabug and Mean Machine ramming each other, before the Chuggabug collected a piece of scenery. I was beginning to wonder if Lazy Luke was legally blind.

Bob obviously thought the track was for plebs and made good use of the Army Surplus Special's off road abilities, by taking the direct route to the next gate. This allowed Bob's tank to be laying in wait and give the several competitors the good news with his cannon as they passed by. In trying to avoid this, Colin's Convert-a-Car left the track and headed into the rough.

Having "re-spawned" at the last gate passed, Peter Perfect was racing past the wreck and back markers (it must have been a little strange passing his previous self burning in version one of his car, but Chas looked unphased). He then failed to take the second corner and made friends with a concrete barrier. Meanwhile Bob opened fire on the Bulletproof Bomb and a combination of handling issues and lack of hull points wrecked it.

The Turbo Terrific now rammed the Army Surplus Special (er, it's a tank Chas), losing half his bodywork in the process. Bob seemed to think the scratches on his tank would polish out.

With the Ant Hill Mob re-spawning at the 3rd gate they had just passed, they shot into the distance.

With a clear road ahead for the Bulletproof Bomb we called it a day.

Results:

First Place - The Bulletproof Bomb

Second - The Army Surplus Special

Third - The Turbo Terrific

To be fair, it could all have changed had we had more time, not least as the track was set up in a loop and the Bulletproof Bomb would have to cross all the other players again on the way to the chequered flag !

Many thanks to Paul, Lawrence, Colin, Bob, Chas and Jason for taking it all in the spirit which it was intended.

Vince