Monday, 10 August 2015

The Sweeney - Geezers SHUT IT!

Last Saturday saw Chas & I run a "Sweeney" scenario to "Geezers SHUT IT !" rules.

The game was loosely based on the "Midgate Wages Snatch" scenario from the rules.

The scene opened with the wages van coming onto the table, as two blaggers (Johnny & Reggie) slipped over the wall into Matrolls Factory yard. The villains getaway Jag, driven by "Soft Eddie", was parked up down a side road and the second getaway car, with Arthur at the wheel, was waiting down another alley. The remaining three blaggers, including "Mad Harry" Bevan, were hovering around the shopping precinct, trying to blend in with the Thursday morning shoppers.

The Sweeney had been tipped off and their Cortina 2.0 GXL was waiting for the word to race to the factory, whilst a covert transit full of uniformed woodentops was hidden down a dirt track, awaiting the call to action. Due to a breakdown in communication, two uniformed constables were off their beat and on route to the shops for a cup of tea and a doughnut. "Rita the Meter", the local traffic warden, spotted the Jag parked on double yellow lines and crossed the street to 'ave a word. Soft Eddy gave her some old chat about "only being there for loading" and a nouse roll showed she suspected nothing.

The security van drove up to the factory gate and Stan Tuttle, the firm's security man waved it into the yard, as Derek Bevan and his crew sauntered towards the gate. As the wages van guards got out of the vehicle, Bevan struck up a conversation with Stan, asking him about vacancies in the factory, before sticking a pump action shotgun under his nose.

At this point Johnny and Reggie moved in on the wages van guards, waved their guns, and told them to "open the back, if you know what's good for you". Regan and Carter now dropped the pretence of being guards, as Regan shouted "Sweeney ! drop the shooters, you're surrounded by armed b*stards". Reggie dropped his pistol and put his hands up, but Johnny let fly with his shotgun at Regan, winging him. In the confusion Stan let blagger Derek have a sharp right hander (six on a D6 to become a "'ave a Go 'ero").

Regan ducked behind the van, whilst Carter fired, missing by a country mile. Derek pistol whipped Stan with his sawn off and down the old boy went. A quick "assistance required" radio call from Carter and the Sweeney Cortina was screaming to the scene, followed by the transit full of uniforms and the area Marina. The two uniforms in the precinct were already running towards the sounds of gunfire.

The getaway Jag and Cortina screamed into the precinct and the Jag did a handbrake turn in front of the factory gate (he might be thick, but he can drive that Soft Eddie).

"Leg it" shouted Derek, as he ran for the Jag, only to stop a bullet from Regan and drop dead on the spot. Johnny jumped into the Jag and one other crook into the Cortina, as the Sweeney GXL lost it into the wall of a house (that ain't gonna polish out) The police transit lost it into a telephone box, killing the punter inside (bad business that). The remaining villain ran down the alley by the shops.

The Jag was off, dodging the stalled transit, with the area car screaming onto the scene in pursuit. The getaway Cortina drove across the pedestrian precinct and young PC JJ wrenched the passenger door open, as he tried to smash the screen with his truncheon. The Cortina swerved, slammed on the anchors and the PC slid off the bonnet and under wheels, dying instantly ("he didn't suffer love").

Meanwhile the Jag showed the Marina a clean pair of heels and was away. The Cortina was rammed by the police transit and one of the villains was thrown through the windscreen (should 'ave listened to that nice chap "Clunk Click Jimmy"). The remaining blagger was still on foot, but he threatened a chap working on his van with a beating, stole his VW camper and got clean away.

Three villains in custody, one "brown bread" and three away on their toes, with a one dead copper and one dead punter to add to the mayhem. The GPO won't be happy about their phone box neither.

On the way back to the station the villains made some "significant statements", which all the cops noted down. All three blaggers managed to fall down the steps at the cop shop (pretty slippy those steps) and despite them shouting for their briefs, two had confessed before their lawyers could be contacted (shame that).

At court Arthur got 10 years, Soft Eddie got off on a technicality (off course all our notebooks were identical, we were all there weren't we) and Denny was found not guilty (are these jurors thick, or what ?).

Net result Police minus two points, blaggers eleven points (Chas got two points added for his gigolo moustache and mutton chops). The "News of the World" had a field day and I am up before a C11 enquiry next Monday. Makes you wonder why we bother really. Still we raised £97.18 in the whip round for JJ's widow and I chucked in a "wonna" from the evidence cupboard, so she won't be on her uppers.

The rules played well, with a little creative umpiring to cover the gaps and a good time was had by all.



  1. Glad to see this game getting some well deserved love. Hard sell here in the states(Texas no less) to get a game together in theme as it were. Nice to see the blaggers not lose their collective bottle and yellow stain their y-fronts at the first sign of the coppers.

  2. Hi Bird Kick,

    Good to hear that Geezers has made it across the pond. I can see the 70s british cop show might be a hard sell over there, but I would have thought the "Vice Palms" expansion is custom made for you guys. I can see Crockett and Tubbs with the big shoulder pads in that speed boat now !

    I think the rules are great fun and shall certainly be rolling them out again. Must see if I can get a guy in a hawaiian shirt and board shorts !


  3. Google Translate keeps crashing when I feed it this page.